(from the wine thieves blog)
something's been eating at me today. and not because i'm necessarily having a moral dilemna, altho i mite be... it's more of the splinter in my finger; the shard of wood of which i am aware (it itches and gently throbs) but i go about my day as if there isn't tree in my flesh. what the hell am i talking about ?!
feline abortion. cat abortion, for the layperson.
seriously, let it sink in.. cause it's real, as real as prosthetic balls for your dog.
(no, seriously, don't let your best friend lose his balls and his pride, add some prothesti-testies.) but i digress. feline abortion. cat abortion. it's been the eyelash on my lense, that proverbial sliver. i don't know if it would've bothered me if i had only read about it. i found out the hard way:
a friend of mine adopted a feral (not to be confused with sterile) cat. a wild, trailor-park-running, free-as-the-wind cat. but the cat was emaciated. so, starving and probably delusional, the cat wandered on to "barry's" porch. so barry, being the kind and generous old soul that he is, fed the cat. but if you feed a feral cat, they just keep coming back.
so the next morning, the cat (now named "karen" ...never name a stray, that's the first fell step down a slippery slope) returns, of course, for breakfast. after several days of this entire scenario on pavlovian-repeat, karen will let barry pet her while she eats. ...days, and he can pet karen even when she's not eating. she comes around just for attention.
and then, like in every other seemingly-harmless-bum story, the cat decides that she wants to move in! and barry, he's a good dude-no joke-we chill with him all the time, let's karen barge right into his life, like a red-headed psycho ex.
and then, like in every other seemingly-harmless-bum story, the cat decides that she wants to move in! and barry, he's a good dude-no joke-we chill with him all the time, let's karen barge right into his life, like a red-headed psycho ex.
well, you've heard the tale before: all goes well... for a while. karen has transformed, from a gutter cat into a house-cat. she plays the part alright! ..but after a few weeks, karen starts to go stir crazy.. the wild wind is calling, the dumpster cats meow in the distance... and she's in heat. yeah, she needs a good romp, you know? some wild tomcat rapesex, you dig? don't recoil in disgust, it's natural in their order of things, you see.
so if this entire time, you've been shaking your head, like, 'yes, yes!' ...if that is you, reader, then you know what comes next: yes, karen comes back. she's sorry she had to run off like that. she's sorry she's been neglecting the food and milk that barry was putting on her table! he didn't have to take care of that bitch! she was a guttercat before she met barry. fucking ingrate, i say!
but if you're saying in your head, 'i've been there, barry-' -if you're saying, i know a good dude like barry, then you know that in this story barry is the character who could be expected to do nothing other than to take back karen. it's true, barry takes karen back into his house. he nurses her sex-starved-sex-satiated feline body back to health--yet again.
now, karen is soooo sorry. and karen is doing muchhh better. she's purrrring and rubbbbing and salivating on barry, as in, 'yes barry, you're my human! you are mine, barry!' and barry gives karen milk, gently warmed, and feline food, and tuna (fresh from the can! that's a good tuna-salad sandwich barry's giving up for that cat!) and water.
but if you're saying in your head, 'i've been there, barry-' -if you're saying, i know a good dude like barry, then you know that in this story barry is the character who could be expected to do nothing other than to take back karen. it's true, barry takes karen back into his house. he nurses her sex-starved-sex-satiated feline body back to health--yet again.
now, karen is soooo sorry. and karen is doing muchhh better. she's purrrring and rubbbbing and salivating on barry, as in, 'yes barry, you're my human! you are mine, barry!' and barry gives karen milk, gently warmed, and feline food, and tuna (fresh from the can! that's a good tuna-salad sandwich barry's giving up for that cat!) and water.
but karen still has a secret. the plot thickens: karen's pregnant! ...an on-again-off-again homeless, feral cat...a wild dumpster cat, now inpregnated by some feral, homeless alley-cat, no doubt! so what?! so, barry let's this irresponsible cat make life?! re-create!? let karen single-handedly re-overpopulize the feral kitten market?!
"she's got seven in there," the vet tells barry.
"oh god," is all barry says in response. "oh god." barry's new girlfriend squeezes barry's arm in tight, then muzzles her nose into his t-shirt. he smells of catfood and his clothes are covered in inch-long white hairs."isn't there anything," barry's girlfriend says at long-last, "ANYTHING, we can do?"
the vet looks at the young couple, and he sees so much potential, love and hope... so, he procures a card, hands it to barry's girlfriend, "i know a guy," the vet says. barry looks up at the vet from his frozen stare on the floor tile. "doctor blacops," the vet says, "works for the animal control board of pennsylvania." barry takes the card and reads: dr. blacops, animal control board of pennsylvania. and then a local phone number.
it was later that night when barry called doc blacops. a smokey-grey voice on the other end of the line, "yeah?" barry's all, "ummm..." he said he could hear doctor blacops kissing the butt of a cig in the silence. then it all came rushing out: barry recounts the whole story of he and the feral cat, the dishing of milk, the petting, the adopting into his house, the runaway, the heat, the sex-starvation, the runaway--and now, the kittens.
"uh-huh," the doc says, "and so you're calling me," he says, "cause you want to get a feline abortion.""what!? no!" barry gets defensive on instinct, then goes, "i do? i- i can get one of those?!?""well you can't," doc says, "but your slut cat can.""she can?" barry asks-says, then says, "she can."and then the fateful words, "i want a cat abortion."
now, don't get it twisted, i'm not trying to make lite of abortion. this is--obviously--only a true story, which barry told to me, and i told to you. don't rush to judge! don't go bombing the animal control board's abortion clinic, cause that's not even the organization's real name! it's just something that's been bothering me: cat abortion. and now that's it's off my chest, you're free to wrestle with the moral and ethical reprocutions.
in closing, i'm happy to report that karen is doing just fine these days--sans kittens. barry is back to the every day grind, so to speak, and he lets karen come and go as she pleases. and even when she's gone, barry leaves a bowl of milk, gently warmed, on the porch.
this is where it all goes into slo-motion: i enter the supermarket thru the automatic doors and make an immediate right to approach the ATM... but i feel eyes on my back; that eerie sixth sense, when you just know someone is eyeing you... i insert my debit card and my head pans to the right: an adolescent boy's beady, blood-shot eyes meet mine. his eyes are full of hatred and hellfire, his face as flush as funeral-home-foundation. his white-knuckle grip on the cart belies his casual guise in the cart's toddler seat. i break stare to enter my password, then balance inquiry, then my eyes dart back to the waiting eyes of the inflicted child. the face-mask he's wearing is more reminiscent of jason or michael myers than the complacent masked pedestrians on the streets on tokyo. that's just ozone-holed-weather blues.
now, there are several ways to look at this h1n1 situation: there's the optimist: they wear masks and use the anti-bacterial handwash endlessly. they dress their kids in so much protective gear that they look like the late michael jackson's kids. there's the pessimist: these people believe that we're all going to get the swine flu, no matter what. then, there's the cynical optimist. this person believes that the swine flu is really just a scam. the flu is the flu, they say. nice try pharmaceutical companies, they sneer, but you're not getting my money! or you may be the cynical pessimist: this person also thinks that the swine flu is not the swine flu, but perhaps a way for the government to test new vaccines, or implant microchips, or spread a superbug that will cut down the world's population, semi-naturally. 
last week i started work on what will ultimately become an all-new hype mixtape. this is the first time i've rhymed on a mixtape, so i'm aiming to make it something special. to that end, i'm purposely steering away from pretty much anything you've ever heard on a mixtape. the most mainstream snippet so far is some old lenny kravitz. 
i'll keep the blog updated regarding progress. in the mean, party is hard at work making some new beats after selling a batch to an upstate rapper. some the new compositions he's working on will appear on an upcoming ep from the wine thieves (party & i). other new works from party, include something soulful in the city of brotherly love, but i'll let him fill you in on that.
